Wedding Card..

Hye dear u olls..

Sekarang tengah hot tentang kad kahwin pulak..pening kepala. At first, we have decided untuk boarding pass card. Memang unik dan berbeza dari biasa. Agak lama menunggu budget untuk tempah kad..memangla masih terlalu awal untuk kad, but i decide utk buat kad dulu. So, marilah kita jenguk2 design boarding pass card yg ada dlm Mr. Google. hahaha

See? cantik kan? Truly jatuh cinta dengan kad ni masa tgk. Tanya2, harga takdelah mahal mana, around RM0.85 for 800 pcs. Malangnya bila nak tempah, since we all nak buat 2 set, 500 for me, another 300 for Mr. Fiance, harga dah jadi lain. 300 tak boleh buat, 500 harga RM575. Huu..mahal lah plak. Mr. Fiance cakap, nanti kita pegi tgk kat kedai jelah..

But, tak puas hati, nak jugak survey di Mr. Google. Jumpa another design yang jugak menarik..

Nice right? Belum dapat tahu harga lagi..maybe beli this one even colout sebenarnya tak nampak macam boarding pass sangat. Tp, passport tu buat nampak cute. But, still i prefer yang first one. nampak real macam boarding pass.

Sedih sangat, punah harapan..apa nak buat takde rezeki nak design camtu. huuu..

D-day dresses

Hye guys!

Harini nak buat entry bout my wedding preparation. At this point, we all dah pun decide on colour, dresses, pelamin..and etc. Almost everything dah decide but implementation je belum sepenuhnya. Since baju pun dah decide, i sketch my own dresses (based on contoh baju dlm magazine jugaklah)..

Left hand side baju resepsi, right hand side baju nikah. Colour, we will use pure white for nikah and off white - dark purple for reception. Material untuk baju resepsi dah beli and dah hand over to my tailor (sister in law je pun..haha). Below are list of material and price for my reception dress.

1. Bridal Satin (2 meter)                  RM 18/meter

2. Heavy Chiffon (3 meter)             RM 55/meter

3. Lining satin (3 meter)                  RM 15/meter

For material 1 & 2, i beli di Euromoda and material 3 beli di Kamdar. Problem is, masa tgk di kedai..kaler macam off white. Tup2 dah sampai rumah, dah jadi colour cream. Aduhai..tp, my tailor cakap try dulu, maybe nampak ok. Try and error dulu.

Memang excited nak tgk hasil baju tu. Lepas siap jahit, baru hantar jahit manik. Hopefully jadi cantik. Actually, i nak design manik sama macam this pic. Cantik, menarik, tertarik sangat..



Serius cantik sangat kaler manik and match dengan off-white material. We found a beautiful dark purple for baju melayu Mr. Fiance. Matching kan? Hehe..very nice. Even Mr. Fiance ni agak gelap, but this colour dapat menaikkan seri wajah dia. Hehehe..really wish he will look handsome with that colour.

Enough about dresses, next entry will be about our Pelamin pulak. Check it out!

Baju untuk D-day..

Salam..

Today entry nak citer pasal outfits for my big day..

Actually, i've decided on Baju kurung moden for nikah. Little bit macam gambar ni..

 

nice kan? Hurmm..but tonight, my mom cakap dia nmpak someone big size pakai baju kurung pesak gantung (rasanya la). Look nice with bahagian bawah dikembangkan sikit. My sister in law pun ada baju ni. So..i surf internet looking for baju yg design macam tu. Rasanya gambar bawah ni almost look like what she's describing.

 

So..kiranya macam ok je. Maybe i can wear baju kurung moden masa sanding kot. Ikutlah jugak idea my mom..nanti kecik hati plak. tadi pun dah macam tak puas hati. Tanya banyak skit, dah marah. Hurm..gitulah.

 

Nanti beli kain satin exactly sama macam kain baju melayu my fiance. Then, jahit manik warna

baby pink. Cantik kot..hopefully look sweet and nice.

Ok..decided on baju nikah. Nanti dah redi will upload here..just for memory. Even takde orang comment, but no problem. hehe

 

 

Lately suka dengar lagu "Teman Pengganti"..hurm..maybe i am negative thinker. Always think that something bad will happen to me..

 

Honestly, last 2 weeks is the best memory of my life. Yang tak pernah terduga is i will get engage.  :) happy? No one can imagine my feelings when thinking that i'm getting nearer to reach my dream. But then, slowly it feels like everything is not right. Like..everything was not meant for me.

 

I've been trying to note down something about my engagement, my preparation for the big day, how happy i am on that day, but then..everytime i try to write, nothing come out. As if, all this aren't real..am i still dreaming? Hurm..i'm not sure myself.

 

Tonight..i think everything will end here. How i wish i could actually dedicate this song to my fiance..to let him know that i'm leaving..and never return. I really want to go away from everyone..start a new life with new people. Hopefully i can find peace..but, as Syam always said..nowhere we can go to run from problems. Where ever we are, there always problem, because problem is a test to us. Somehow, i know he is right..and he always right. Hahaha..i miss him. The only man on earth who would always give good advise. :-)

 

That's us..i really look so happy rite? Yeah..i am happier than any days in my life. It was great ceremony..alhamdulillah, everything went so well. Better than i expected..even it was a simple ceremony but still a great one.

I thought things would be better from that day onwards, but perhaps my negative thinking ruin everything. I never believe someone can really love me like Syam did. Someone who can accept me as i am..truly i doubt my fiance able to do that. Also, i doubt Allah will allow me to have this happiness. I believe everything have it's price..and for this happiness, He make me pay the price i'm paying now.

At one time i feel fine..as Kak Zu said, i am a tough person..i can face anything. But, she forgot one thing..i'm also human. Doesn't matter how tough and patient i am..i still fragile. My fiance might not be the best for me..he cannot replace Syam or even Kak Zu, but probably i'm not a good person myself. So, we belong together. Yeah, Allah already guarantee a good woman for a good man..so..

Just pray that Allah have give me the best man for me. InsyaAllah..i know He never cruel to His servants.

"Ya Allah, please be gentle on testing me..give me patience and guide me throughout this life. I accept whatever fate you decide for me, which i understand is the best for me, in order to be your faithful servants. If he is the one for me, please guide us to build a family that you blessed..ameen"

For you readers, here are song that i'm listening while writing this blog. enjoy it and thanks for reading..

Teman Pengganti - Malique featuring Black

Ketawa bersama
Menangis bersama
Ku bersumpah harap kita
Mati pun bersama
Sejak dua menjak ini
Makin kerap ku diganggu visi
Bila celik, juga bila mimpi
Aku nampak kau, tapi bukan aku yang di sisi
Dia membelaimu dengan izin dan permisi
Sentuhan katanya semuanya kau iakan
Sentuhan jari kau diamkan dan biarkan
Aku redha walau tidak ku damba
Walau hampa semuanya dah dijangka

Beberapa purnama dulu cinta bertahta
Kenangan dibina kita indah belaka
Ketawa bersama, menangis bersama
Ku bersumpah harap kita mati pun bersama
Namun hakikatnya, bukan mudah
Aku sembunyikan gulana-gundah
Segalanya kan berubah
Dengarkan apa yang ku mahu luah

* Rahsia ini
Telah lama ku pendamkan
Tiba masanya
Segala-galanya
Ku ceritakan
Aku kan pergi
Pergi ku tak akan kembaliTiba masanya kau cari teman pengganti

Dalam dunia yang maya, prejudis dan bias
Kita tak terlepas dari terkena tempias
Rimas, ditindas, sembunyi dalam puisi dan kias
Tidak kau bidas, tak berpaling walau sekilas
Hanya kau yang tahu kodeksku yang kompleks
Dalam disleksia cuba kekal dalam konteks
Bila dunia seolah tak memahami
Kau sudi selami, dalami dan mengalami
Setia mendengar, sentiasa hadir
Ingat setiap ulangtahun, setiap hari lahir
Tiba pagi Syawal, kaulah yang terawal
Syawal yang terakhir ini pasti rasa janggal
70 000 hijab harus ku singkap
Ku sorok kitab balik tingkap penjara hinggap
Dalam diam ada, seorang yang ku puja
Kau teristimewa tapi dia yang sempurna

Ulang *

Sejak dua menjak ini, ku mencari fungsi kewujudan
Dalam persekitaran yang penuh kejumudan
Terperangkap dalam jasad, ku keliru
Mujur ada kau si peneutralisasi pilu
Namun aku tetap murung, berkurung
Tubuh makin susut, menunggu tarikh luput
Komplikasi di halaman rusuk kiri
Makin sukar nak bernafas, nak bergerak, nak berdiri
Lagu ini yang terakhir aku sajikan
Kalau rindu nanti bolehlah kau nyanyikan
Jaga diri, jangan makan hati
Yang patah kan tumbuh, yang hilang kan berganti
Bilik dah ku kemas, katil dah ku rapi
Cincin, kunci, dompet dalam laci
Ada sikit wang, itu saja baki
Moga-moga cukup untuk majlis itu nanti

Aku kan pergi

Bertemu kekasih abadi

Tiba masanya

Kau cari teman pengganti

The Darkness

I'm sitting here again

After the light and laughter

In the darkness and emptiness

Wondering what would happen in future..

This room was once filled with light

Which I thought would be forever

Had gone with a blink of the eyes

Bring with him all the laughter..

I sit an stare at the closed door

Hoping it would open again

And another light will come

Offer his hand to take me away..

Yet the door never open

So I wonder why the light only for short time

Why God send them to me

If they're not meant to stay..

Those in the light rooms told me

Patient Katrina patient

God knows what best for you

He will send someone better to you..

I doubt is there anyone better

Cause so far no one seems to care

Should i still believe He will bring him back

To stay with me for the rest of the day..

Or is it fate

That I will stay in this room, broken inside

Don't know what to think, what t believe

How I wish I could stand up and fight..

Every time I'd convince myself

I'm strong enough to fight the darkness

Every single time He will give me a light

That in the end make me weak again..

The I sit an stare

At the door that will never open

Hear nothing but the sound of my tears

Dropping on the empty floor..

Should I keep my hope

Should I believe in Him

Should I rely on Him

To bring the light back to me..

He the one who make me believe

With all the signs and prays He grant

Yet one day He shut the light off

Left me with nothing at all..

This is not very good poem i wrote many months ago..just want to keep it here for memory. :-)